BBW LA S3E6 – Palm Springs Becomes The “Thrilla in Manilla” When Sundy Get’s Her A$$ Popped

Image

Whoever said that “crunchy edges” not being in Palm Springs would prevent any drama (Sundy “Poodle” Carter’s simple a$$ said this) was a goddamn lie cause things got “turnt up” real quick the moment Malaysia & Draya walked in the door to join Brandi, “Poodle,” & Jackie. So, let’s get it in! As Draya & Malaysia arrives in Palm Springs, both ladies are “naked wasted,” & Jackie isn’t all that thrilled. When Draya expresses how she had no desire to come to Palm Springs, “Poodle” doesn’t take well to the comment. “Poodle” then asks Draya why would she even bother showing up if she had no desire to be there, & that’s when silently takes “Poodle” to task, & of course, Jackie $hitstarter” Christie, has to mention what Draya said (keep in mind, that at this point Sundy had already left the room & DID NOT hear what Draya said… so much for wanting the ladies to come together, Jackie). Brandi, (who has quickly become my favorite newbie this season (overlooking that little incident with her & “Poodle” in the 1st episode)) was not feeling Jackie’s shady stunt, “What are you even doing, Jackie? She didn’t even hear her.”

Image

“Poodle” who is absolutely pissed off now, decides she wants call Draya out on her past as a stripper, addressing her as “Miami (umm, excuse me “Poodle,” but aren’t you the one who had a baby for a MARRIED MAN, & has a criminal past, but I digress). Then “Poodle” then commits the ultimate foul, & brings up Draya’s son, who has NOTHING to do with this. Side note, isn’t Sundy “Poodle” Carter the one whose daughter is caught kissing a d#*k in a pic, yet you have the nerve to come for Draya’s son, who is ONLY A LITTLE CHILD, Really, trick?? Sundy dares her to come round the sofa. At this point, Draya has had enough, & decides to “put them paws on her” (S/O to Lil Scrappy). Real talk, when you mention someone’s child, that’s an OPEN INVITATION to get yo’ a$$ whooped (I don’t care who you are. In the words of the late great Bernie Mac, “You have to shut what they call the f#ck up!”).

Image

Draya is very emotional, & points the blame RIGHTFULLY SO at Jackie. Of course, Jackie backpedals, & makes it all about her, & how her daughter hates her, & that she can relate to Draya. Draya is heated & Brandi & Malaysia still tries to calm her down, while Jackie’s “thin hairline ass” goes to check on Sundy. “Poodle” is pissed off now, & she wants to put on her sneakers cause she’s ready to fight (uh, you wait til you got your ass whooped to be ready to fight??? Did you or did you not just challenge Draya to “come round that sofa?” What did you think was gonna happen after you insulted her AND her son (Draya wasn’t gonna grab your hand & sing “We Are Family”)???

Image

Jackie “encourages” “Poodle” to calm down cause everything is gonna be fine (cause your word is so golden, right, Jackie?). Draya later shows Jackie the respect that she didn’t show her, & tells her about Chantel & what Orlando told her. Of course, Jackie backpedals, & wishes Draya the best in her relationship with Orlando, & tries to play peacemaker, & attempts to have “Poodle” & Draya make amends. Is it me, or was I the only one hoping that Jackie would get her ass handed to her next?? Sundy’s simple ass decides she wants payback, comes in the living room, & decides to toss a drink in Draya’s face, while Jackie’s instigating ass tosses a pillow to stop Sundy. Really, b#%*h? A damn pillow? In what world do you throw a pillow to stop someone from throwing $hit at you???

After the dust settles, the ladies gather poolside & decides to play nice, & clear the air. Draya & “Poodle” go at it (cause we all know that Sundy is straight up jealous of Draya). Jackie points out how all of the ladies played a role in Draya vs “Poodle.” Uh, Jackie, you’re the one who f#%ked things up from the jump by opening that “gate” you call a mouth. Brandi said it best, “this group is bipolar.” Jackie gives TMI when she says how her & Doug (I swear, these 2 are gay swingers) fantasize about Malaysia, who is absolutely disgusted to hear this (it won’t happen in this life or the next). All of a sudden, Sundy decides to go skinny dipping in the pool, & run around naked. Ooookay.

Image

You got knocked the f#%k out!!!

At the dinner table, Sundy & Draya talk about their situations as single mothers (which results in “Poodle” shedding crocodile tears). Draya states a valid point on how she’s tired of people attacking her at every giving turn. So you would think the episode would come to a peaceful end here, right? WRONG, cause the next morning Sundy looks like she got hit in the eye with “a bag of nickels,” LMAO. Malaysia & Draya take “Poodle” to task for being disrespectful, & Sundy could care less with her “poodle” ass, & doesn’t apologize. Jackie, of course, decides to stir the pot, & accuses Draya of “playing the victim.” Brandi, then goes on to say how doesn’t consider Draya a friend cause she doesn’t use the word loosely.

Next week, Jackie’s sprung daughter, Chantel, returns! Real talk, Chantel wanted the “D,” Orlando wasn’t gonna give it to her, & now she’s bitter & all “caught up” in her emotions!

 

 

 

 

Basketball Wives LA S3E5 _ HO TO HOUSEWIFE

This episode was filled with shade, shade, more shade (mostly from Jackie & “Poodle”), even a funny GIF moment courtesy from “crunchy edges” herself, & classic one-liners courtesy from Malaysia & Draya! So, let’s get it in!

Crunchy edges gives Jackie a tour of her “business,” & tries to rehash what happened at the GLAAD event. Crunchy edges decides to tell her side of the story about her “run-in” with Malaysia, & they discuss Draya’s absence. In response to Malaysia’s “dry-ass” hello, Brittish (see, I know her name) gave us this memorable moment: Image

Then, Jackie attempts to give a SHADY A$$ READ to Draya: “The mileage on her body is in the 40s. 50s! She’s really older. She’s used and abused herself to the point of no return so now you gotta man that’s willing to say, ‘Okay, you dirty, you filthy – come here. Let me bathe you and wash you cause you so dirty and filthy. And then we’ll buy you some stuff to make you look pretty.’ You know what I’m saying? But you cannot make a ho into a housewife.” Really, Jackie?? You & that “closet freak”, Doug, you’re married to act’s more like a bitch, & less like your husband. Malaysia & Draya are rehashing the drama of the GLAAD event (especially Brittish), & Malaysia is OVER IT. “I have no interest in getting to know her. Looking at her dry-ass hair. Looking at them saggy ass titties.”- you tell her, Malaysia. Malaysia goes on to say how ratchet “crunchy edges” got (sorry, but I had to), & how she took her shoes off threatening Malaysia. “You don’t get ratchet in front of the boo… ugh, that’s just ugly.” Now, If Draya knows how to carry herself in public, then so should “crunchy edges.” Then Malaysia gives the BEST one-liner of the night : “You can’t present yourself like trash, & expect me to treat you as treasure.”

Brandi & Malaysia touch base about Brandi’s IVF appointment. Brandi discusses her fear about having another child, then she talks about the IVF shots & Malaysia lends her support. Jackie & “Poodle” (I call her “poodle” cause she can’t make a move unless Jackie pulls the leash) decide to go visit a businessman about developing her own cognac. Jackie, you ain’t Diddy, & your cognac WILL NOT be Ciroq. Lorenzo & “crunchy edges” are at home discussing his career options. They both discuss Germany, & Lorenzo mentions how he loves how “Americanized” (is that even a word???) Germany is, then crunchy edges says she doesn’t like how ratchet & disrespectful “Germany chicks” are (uhhh, excuse me, but weren’t you the one who was ratchet at Jackie’s GLAAD event???).

Image

Brandi, Malaysia, & “poodle” decide to meet together, & clear the air. they agree to go to Palm Springs (Brandi brings it up, then Sundy (without an “a”) agrees, & Malaysia’s like “I’ll go as long as “crunchy edges” don’t go). Once again, Lorenzo & “crunchy edges” are anticipating a phone call from his agent. “Crunchy edges” will stay in LA, & take care of business. Is it me, or don’t B ball players go & play overseas when they can’t cut it in the NBA?? She gets all emotional when she finds out that Lorenzo has to leave the very next day, “Like, I don’t want you to leave tomorrow. This is so overwhelming, I didn’t have to work then cause I was able to go with you. Now, I have to work, & I can’t be there for you, & it’s like the worse thing ever.” Teardrops, Teardrops… Boo hoo hoo, Lorenzo is like, “Girl, shut the hell up so I can go & make this money.” Brandi, Draya, & Malaysia discuss Palm Springs, & Draya & Malaysia ain’t having it! Draya is very hesitant, & rightfully so cause Jackie “$hitstarter” Christie is always up to no good. “I ain’t got time for bitches to be messin up my stuff.” – Draya, girl, I know the feeling! Brandi attempts to encourage the ladies “poodle” one more chance. Sundy (without an “a”) gives her the heads up about Palm Springs. “Poodle” decides not to invite crunchy edges, & Jackie ain’t having it! “Poodle” continues talkin outta her a$$ about trying to make peace.

Image

Image

Jackie and “Poodle” finally get to Palm Springs and Brandi was the 1st to join them. No one knows if Malaysia & Draya are coming to Pam Springs, but it’s obvious that “crunchy edges” won’t be in the mix. Jackie takes this opportunity to “school” Brandi on staying out of it if things “get real” between her & Draya (well Jackie, make sure you keep your poodle on a leash cause your dog is gonna roam free when Draya arrives in Palm Springs).

Next week, it’s Draya vs “Poodle” (I guess she broke free from the leash).